Chores and Love- How They Are The Same


Chores and Love- How They Are The Same

Today I’m going to help you change your mindset about chores and your spouse.

It’s normal for there to be friction within a married couple about chores. There are books written about it that supposedly help you figure out what to do about it. The trouble is, they require you to get the other party to change.

Instead, Look to Yourself

I’m not telling you to throw in the towel if you want your spouse to pitch in more. I am saying that, as someone who used to work 12 hour days as a doctor, I try to shift my mindset about chores first before I go asking him for help… even if bitterness does start to creep in.

Your Mindset

Here’s a mindset trick you can use to get to the point where you feel empathy for the one you love and share a house with. What if the humongous pile of laundry that needs to be folded is just a neutral circumstance, rather than a swirling cloud of emotion? (Why doesn’t anyone help! Nobody ever does their laundry so it all piles up! Someone washed a red sock with the whites!! I’ll never finish! I hate folding!)

Because of course laundry is just clothing that sits there. Poor laundry. It didn’t do anything. Why do we hate it so much?

If you want to feel happy to help your family, and enjoy the chore, what type of thoughts would you have to have? Maybe: I’m doing something important for my family. I get to fold the towels the way I like. I’m going to fold outside today and listen to 90’s music, because when I’m alone, I can.

Choosing the Thoughts You Want

When you choose the latter thoughts, then you can drive the bus and feel the way you want to feel about the laundry, your spouse, and most situations in life. I have to admit, during the time it took me to choose the right words for this post, correcting the grammar and thinking of the words I wanted to say, I could have folded quite a bit of laundry. Thank you for taking your time to read it! If I helped you change your frame of mind, let me know in the comments.


I'm going to help you remember what self-love looks like

We guilt ourselves out of our own health way too often. In medical families, it can seem so virtuous, because the physician seems to be working so hard— we don’t want to be a bother. I say, BS! That line of thinking is so sneaky, you have to nip it right in the bud. You put your own oxygen mask on first, sister.


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